My story, My life, My Escape!!!
Written September 2016
I have decided I'm no longer going to hide. will share my story. I escaped, I documented everything and had backups of backups, (no I'm not paranoid I prepared). It wasn't always bad but over the last year the scary bad was a normality in my home. The anger from my husband was a constant, consistent, predictable thing.
I was diagnosed with Relapsing Remitting Multiple Sclerosis 5 years ago. I have had my MS used against me by the one person who I trusted most in this world. The man I have spent 16 years with, the man I thought was my forever the one person on earth who vowed to never hurt me and did exactly that in every formation;
Physically hurting me
Emotionally hurting me
Spiritually hurting me
Mentally TRYING TO BREAK ME
The greatest thing I learned from my 2 big Sisters (14 &13 years older than me and my twin sister) through their abusive relationships when I was a kid, is to document every bruise, scratch, mark, every imprint from items thrown. A bruised possibly fractured rib from full water bottle, imprint of a phone on my body, my stomach my leg... every hole in the walls, etc.
So I did, just in case. I prayed and prayed I would never need to use this documentation but Mamma ain't raised no fool!
I started to make many different plans trying to find a way to stay alive....although came close to not survivng so many times!
In April 2016 (the first time I ever called the police in 6 years), I left with our son and he followed me to my office. He slammed my face into the corner of the wall breaking my glasses and much more all while my son was hiding in the bathroom. He did this until i gave him "HIS CAR" Leaving me the big van I can't see over the steering wheel (I'm 5"3 he is 6"2)
I filed an incident report to establish a pattern. Still praying it would get better and stop. I never gave up hope and faith in him till the night of August 7 2016. It had finally clicked "If I don't I will die in front of my son and that's not gonna happen! !!!!!"
So I started to dial 911 two times before and hung up.
The fight started around 1pm.
It started with the belligerent screaming, then to the physical battery around 7 p.m. (after his parents left) and lasted until 11:30 p.m. when he was arrested.
By the grace of God and my guardian angel my mommy watching over me.... when he threw my phone 20 feet to a cement driveway and the whole thing came apart and he told me "there now you can't call the police "
I prayed and I walked over there and put my phone back together and it came right on and I dial nine-one-one!!!! (I believe in God & angels it's the only explanation why my phone didn't shatter)
When the police arrived (4 cars / 8 officers) I was locked out of the house! He was locked in the house with my six-year-old son. A terrifying feeling for me at the moment. I knocked on my son's window and he was looking out at me crying too scared to come open the door and let me in. It was the biggest sigh of relief of my life when they got in my house when he finally opened the door, and put handcuffs on him,
I instantly knew I did the right thing for me and my son I did what I needed to do to ensure we would live that I would live for him, with him, next to him.
So much has changed since August 7th 2016 on the 31st he was arrested on two warrants for violating the protection order. I reported the 6 violations in the first 6 days and then the next one on August 30th so I reported him so I could ensure I could live!
There is so much more to my story. I have decided I will become, rather I am, a domestic violence advocate! No one deserves this, no one!
His negativity never crushed my positivity. He could never break that part of me and it infuriated him.
"I honestly truly do believe if you think positive, positive things will happen. I am living proof that it works!"
I will not hide my story!
I will not ever lie to my family about my story ever again or my friends or even complete strangers. I will not be ashamed of my story.
I have no reason to be. It's not my fault!!!
I'm not trying to make people feel bad for me. I am not a weak person. I am strong. I know if my story will help just one person gain their freedom, it is worth everything!
It took me so long to get the courage to actually leave and follow through, 6 years!!!!
It can be done you can be safe!
Know the laws and protect yourself, prepare yourself! If you're currently going through this situation I pray, Let My Words speak to you and give you some sliver of Hope ♡
I have faith that's why I stayed so long and that's how I escaped to. That's why i'm still alive. My faith and courage to say "NO MORE!" it is part of my story ♡♡♡
The best advice I can tell anyone is what I learned from my big sisters. Document everything! Back it up, make voice recordings, make sure you know the laws of your state on whether or not you need one person consent or two, that's what I did!
Protect yourself. They lie, they spin reality, LIKE MONSTERS it's not our fault! IT'S NOT MY FAULT!
I don't know why he did these things. I don't know why he continued to do them after all the pleading, begging, screaming and crying from both me and our son!
I don't understand but I do know one thing, it's not my fault or my son's fault! It is not my fault! Whatever is wrong with him has been inside of him long before he ever met me! I told him that many many many times.
I really really really hope AND PRAY that I can help someone be safe, be free, be ALIVE! !!!
My new life motto is "I GOT ME! !!!!" I'm sure you understand why I say that by my story, I GOT ME! I counted on myself to save myself! legally, I GOT ME!
I WILL NOT HIDE! I WILL NOT PRETEND! I WILL NOT EVER BE A VICTIM AGAIN! I GOT ME!
I AM A SURVIVOR OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE! !!
I WILL LIVE! I GOT ME!
I have been safe and free for 30 months now ♡
He still, to this day claims I made it all up and imagined all of it. Even though he plead guilty and is convicted of domestic abuse, battery and 2 counts of violating a protection order.
The hardest thing for me to accept is he will never acknowledge or admit what he did to me. Most days I'm ok but sometimes it gets to me.
Life after abuse is amazing ♡ always believe in yourself ♡♡♡
Deanna 'Kix Peace' Thornton